Christmas Week Top 12

Happy New Year! Here in Jakarta, we are counting down the days to our first trip back to the USA since arriving in Indonesia in August. At least once a day for the last month, we've listed all the food we can't wait to eat (it usually boils down to cheese and salad). But before we pack our bags, here's our top 10...er...12 from our recent Christmas trip to Yogyakarta and Pacitan in Central Java.



1. A visit from our friend, Jon K!
Proving that coming to see us is worth all those reward miles, we had the best time with Jon K who traveled from NYC to spend Christmas with us. Thanks, buddy, for traveling with our baby like a champ. Come, again!

2. Roti-O
This was an unlikely but life-changing moment. Standing in the Yogyakarta airport waiting to find out if the Avis car rental was a legitimate operation or just a coincidental choice in name for a guy who had a car to let, we got hungry. There was an incredible odor wafting all around; something smelled like it was bathing in melted butter. Jon K went off to investigate and returned with a Roti-O, an incredible feat of food science that is neither a roti nor whatever an "o" is. Eating it was akin to biting into a buttery pillow topped with some sort of sugary, mapley glaze. We promptly bought several more.

3. Suharti's Ayam Goreng
Sweet, sweet Ibu Suharti. What a gem of a person she was. Chicken coated in coconut and deep fried. Genius.

4. Miles and his "Ibu Ibu"
Miles continued his streak, endearing himself as a national treasure into the hearts of Indonesians everywhere. We often felt more like pimps than parents because everyone - and I do mean everyone - wanted to be photographed with him. In his true lady-killer fashion, he really hit a note with all the Javanese Ibus.

5. Miles with this guy

At the guide desk at the Borobudor Temple, we met this gentleman. He scooped up Miles and began entertaining him with a flashlight, then asked if he could take this selfie. Please note his choice in dress: a collared shirt paired with a faux-tattoo sleeved shirt. A new approach to day-to-evening wear.

6. Spicing up "Autograph" photos
Miles was not the only one with celebrity appeal. We got a lot of attention too. As messed up as this sounds, it's only fair to say that we were equally as popular as the world's largest Buddhist temple when it came to tourists and their cameras. Squealing school girls, young lovers, grandmas, families, a surprising number of pharmacology students - people asked for photos of them holding our baby, photos of us as a family, photos of us with their family. Once you said "yes" to someone, a line would form of others.

It was really only a matter of time before the jumping photos started...

These Pharmacology students were visiting from Bali; they all wore matching blue blazers

7. Free babysitting
At the same restaurant where we ate this fish:

The most adorable Indonesian grandma appeared at our table and ushered Miles off while we ate. And that is where I found him, happily being fanned like some sort of maharaja.

8. Bu Gandos
We spent the last four days of our trip in the beach town of Pacitan, on the southern coast of Java. Pacitan does not get many foreigners (though it does get bus loads of Indonesian tourists ALL of whom wanted a photo with Miles). In order to determine where we should eat, we got in the habit of just driving around until we found the restaurant with the most traffic flowing into it. This is how we ended up at Bu Gandos. No menu necessary. The house specialty is kabob-style tuna steak marniated with chili sauce that's been slathered on with a paint brush.

9. Chirstmas Lunch
We spent most of Christmas day on a five-hour drive through the hills outside of Yogyakarta before descending through rice patties to the seaside village of Pacitan. About an hour from our destination, we were desperate for a pit stop. We chanced upon a mostly-empty restaurant and found the sweetest proprietor and the perfect bowl of mie ayam (chicken and noodles) ... and woven mats for Miles to stretch his legs after too many hours in the carseat.

10. The Witana Family
While in search of a laundromat, Miles and I were invited into the Witana family home for tea. We had so much fun with them, we went back the next day (also we had to pick up our laundry, which they graciously offered to do).

 Fortunately, Miles was wearing his Friday batik. I thought he would be overdressed, but, in fact, he fit right in.

11. President Obama eating fried chicken?
President Obama is popular here. Indonesians are proud that he spent time in Jakarta as a child and that he is now the leader of the free world. That said, we were not expecting to find him eating fried chicken on the back of this menu. By the way, it says, "10 reasons why eating chicken is good."

12. Being rescued by boyscouts and girlscouts
Dead car battery. Deserted beach. Storm rolling in. Have no fear, the Indoensian scouts are here! Coventiently a couple dozen boyscouts and girlscouts just happened to be running drills at this midddle-of-nowhere beach when John and Jon ran into car trouble. Swear to God. After push starting the car, everyone posed for this victorious photo.

Happy New Year everyone. Wishing you a prosperous 2015!

Clean Up, Aisle 9

Asia loves its grocery store competitions. A decade ago I was on the receiving end of a 5 kilo bag of rice after entering a drawing at the Carrefour in Singapore. That was second place. First place was a rice cooker.

Today, Indonesia raised the bar.

During a routine grocery stop, John and I came upon a real-life Supermarket Sweep about to go down in the Bali Gourmet. An employee asked John if we wanted to participate. I took one look at the brochure showing a man pushing a shopping cart while his female companion rode inside, and said: absolutely.

The game, in fact, did not involve riding in a shopping cart, but it was still awesome. We were ushered to a side of the store where six other couples - all Indonesians mind you - were lined up behind numbered shopping carts. An excited MC was explaining the rules of the game, which we sort of figured out to be: each couple will have a grocery list, whoever fills their basket with the items and returns to the starting area first wins. Important: one hand from each participant has to be on the cart at all times. No divide and conquer. This is a couples’ race.  

The rest of the story is best told through video. In case you cannot tell from the footage below, we are shopping cart #5.

Before the checkered flag was up, John said, "you realize the shopping list is going to be in Indonesian, right?" Good thing one of us has been listening to those boring Indonesian podcasts that seem to always be playing in our living room! I sure haven't been!

The list consisted exclusively of packaged, processed food. Had it involved selecting and weighing produce - nearly half of which we don't recognize - we would have been screwed. But, boxed pancake batter and fake sugary coffee drinks? Who knows processed foods better than Americans? Welcome to our wheelhouse, Jakarta.

I took a look around. We were killing it. We grabbed our last item - a bag of bbq chips, brand name: Chitato - and made an empassioned dash for the finish line. It was probably unecessary to do the flying leap over the stacked wet wipes display, but we did it anyway.

As the MC checked our basket of items against our shopping list, a small group formed. How did we do?

 Do you even need to ask? We crushed the competition. It wasn't even close.

The second team to come across the finish line actually had to be sent back because they picked up a wrong item. We might as well show the footage of that trot of shame:

In the official post-win interview (conducted by, er, moi), John reports that "he's still got it":

After our impressive win, we were ushered to the red carpet for photos with our winning shopping cart. And we were given prizes: oven mits and serving spoons (also known as the stocking stuffers I now don't have to buy).

But wait! There's more! It turns out our win qualifies us for the final event, a cooking competition, to be held in one week. For that event, contestants will be given a budget and then will be asked to shop for and prepare a meal to be judged by a celebrity chef. The grand prize is a ~$200 credit at Bali Gourmet. A two-part, multi-week grocery store competition? I love this country.

Unfortunately, we are scheduled to be out of town during the finals. We are seriously considering altering our holiday vacation in order to participate. Dominating mall-based grocery store antics promises a whole new genre of activity for us. This could realistically turn into how we spend all our weekends: searching Jakarta for yet another supermarket game. Now accepting suggestions for what to prepare during the finals.....

Licensed to Make It Happen

Here's a terrifying thought: I'm now licensed to drive in Indonesia.

Is it even scarier that I've been driving unlicensed? Well, now I'm official.

The whole family ventured off to one of two DMVs that services the approximately 25 million people of Jakarta. That's right. Two DMVs. Sometimes countries achieve impressive technology leaps and skip entire generations of development steps, like how many Indonesians first accessed the world wide web via a cell phone and not a desktop computer. The Jakarta Department of Motor Vehicles is not one such example. It is the crowded, queued-filled experience that we have all come to know and dread.

Not that we really got to experience that here. We employed alternative means to, er, acquire our licenses, which involved jumping to the front of all the lines and walking out, license in hand, within an hour of parking the car. We had a fixer. Someone else arranged it. I know nothing. 

Absent from our experience at the DMV was any sort of demonstration that either of us was at all equipped to handle a motor vehicle. Missing from the list of questions that nobody asked us was whether or not we'd ever been licensed to drive or confirmation that we understand traffic signs. Heck, no one even said, "how many fingers am I holding up." So all of this made us feel a lot better about the company we'll be keeping on Indonesia's roads.

Most notable about our trip to the DMV was just how unremarkable it really was. A DMV is a DMV. It's an unattractive government building full of people who would rather be doing anything but what they are currently doing. It's endless waiting rooms. It's take a number and find a counter.

We arrived at a room with darkened windows. Our fixer told us to go inside and sit down and wait for our names to be called. We sat on a bench at the back and watched as folks were called to the front of the room, asked to verify name and address, provide a thumb for a print scan, and sit for a photograph. After 3 or 4 of these cycles, two things were abundandtly clear: under no circumstances was there to be any smiling and the angle of this photo was undoubtedly going to favor the underside of my chin. Basically my worst possible side.

In other words, drivers license photos in Indonesia are just as bad as everywhere else.

Happy motoring!

 

Does This Car Come with a Floation Device?

 

Pulling out of a mall parking garage after lunch, we came face to face with RAINY SEASON.

 

Just when I thought we'd made it home unscathed, we turned down our street to find this blocking our path:

Wind knocked down trees and braches around our neighborhood and three of the four streets that lead to our house were blocked by debris. But we finally found a way in. Fortunately, we live next door to a police station and the chainsaws were hot as soon as the rain stopped.

Guest Blog: 90 Minutes in Heaven

 
Two Years Up Front is pleased to share our first guest blog post! John's parents have been here for a week and have let us drag them all over the city in search of a good time. Here, John's mom Chris recounts her experience at the spa down the street from our house.

Today I experienced one of the wonders of the world--a 90-minute foot and leg massage at a Jakarta spa. It began with a foot bath in warm, lime-scented water. A tiny Indonesian man washed my feet and then let them soak while he massaged my neck and back. After drying my feet he led me to a dark room with giant lounge chairs. John and I relaxed side by side while they reclined our chairs. We were each outfitted with a neck pillow, which mostly served as a vehicle for a trio of hot stones.

Here the ecstasy began. My lower legs were thoroughly worked over followed by the careful massaging of my feet. Each toe was tenderly stroked and rubbed before moving to the mid foot. Finally the heel was lovingly manipulated until it cried "uncle." Now it was time for the hand and arm massage. John's snoring was somewhat disruptive so they served ginger tea to wake him while they re-massaged our neck and back. At this point we were both glowing. What a way to spend your afternoon. We couldn't wait to get out to the desk to book tomorrow's treatment. I have a whole new respect for Indonesia.

The best part is this 90 minutes of pleasure cost $9.75 … each. No tipping please! I think I will stay in this paradise!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving 2014!

Wishing everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving. Here are some shots from our celebration, which was made special by the visit of some very dear people: Miles' grandparents!

Thanks for coming all the way to see us Mimi and Poppy and for breaking in our guest room!

Our Meal: We feasted on Indonesian-Chinese fusion including: prawn and chicken  dumplings, coconut-honey prawns, chicken satay, sauteed morning glory with garlic, and sweet tamarind sirloin.  

 

And for dessert we had deep-fried banana with butterscotch sauce, apple spring roll with vanilla ice cream, and some beverage that involved fresh coconut, passion fruit and unidentifiable green jelly things that were the consistency of Swedish Fish. I failed to photograph it, which is a shame, because it was a site.

 

Miles enjoyed mango-carrot puree and nine ounces of milk.

 



Road Champ

Oh Jakarta...sweet land of the traffic jam. We can't have a blog about living here without at least one post on the traffic situation. But how to convey just what it's like to live in a city that adds roughly 1,100 new vehicles to its road per day? (Yes, PER DAY.) How does it feel to be surrounded by 5.5 million motorized vehicles?

[Note: these are conveniently staggering numbers that I found following a google search for "how many vehicles are in Jakarta". I have no idea if they are accurate. If we go on "feel" alone, I'd say they are conservative but that's because - at certain times during the day - stepping outside kind of feels like french kissing an exhaust pipe.]

Traffic anecdotes aren't going to suffice. If you want an authentic Jakartan traffic experience without physically coming here, we need something else. So, I give you the "driving-in-Jakarta Simulator"! Get your driving gloves on! Simulation begins in 3....2......1

Seatbelts on. Remember how to drive a manual? Good - now just reverse everything you remember about your hand-foot coordination so that you are shifting with your left instead of your right. And don't forget, you drive on the left-hand side in these parts. There is zero tolerance for forgetting that rule so opt to remember it. Driver should always be closest to the median. No problem, right? (Talk to me after your first right-hand turn). Easy does it into that first intersection. Stop signs don't seem to exist in Jakarta. The four-way rule only sort of applies. It's not exactly first come, first move in a clockwise fashion, it's more just who ever moves first. Moving along, here we go. Time to merge onto the main highway. Don't forget your blinker! No, no, no, that's your windshield wiper...other side, friend. The blinker is on the other side. Whoa! Mind the crazy scooter drivers! I know, I know, they come out of no where with no warning. But if you hit one, it will be your fault because fault lies with whomever can afford the repairs and since you are a foreign passport holder, that means you.

It's rush hour, did you forget? You can't be on this highway unless there are three people in the car. C'mon, it's an honest attempt to reduce traffic congestion during the busiest times of the day. What are you going to do? a) Suck it up and pay the $20 fine (don't be fooled: the cops wait on the entrance ramps and will pull you over), b) turn around and attempt to find another route or c) be a local, pick up two of those people standing on the side of the road waiting for just this purpose and pay them $2 each to be your extra passengers. Remember: moms with babies count as 2!! That's right, the correct answer is C. Whatever you do, do not attempt B. Attempting B will murder the rest of your day and you will likely end up in another city, possibly on another island, altogether.

Ok, so now we have our "professional" passengers earning an honest wage, we are on the main highway in the direction we want to head and so now we .....wait. I know it's only another half mile until your exit, but do you know how long it could be before you get there? Put it this way, you could probably do your taxes and finish with spare time. You won't be getting out of first gear, that's for sure. This, my friends, is why everyone in Jakarta who can afford it has a driver. Because spending hours in the car is a huge waste of time. So, instead, you can do more important things from a passenger seat, like reach level 44 on your phone's version of Super Jewel Quest. I hope you remembered to pack a snack and some water. I hope you remembered to go to the bathroom before you got into this car. I hope you weren't in a hurry.

Note to you: if you are in a hurry, a better option than a car is an "ojek", i.e., the back of a scooter. You can find Ojek drivers on most street corners. You haggle a price, they hand you a helmut that smells like a sleeping bag after a summer at sleep away camp, and away you go. The simulator for the ojek is an entirely different Jakarta traffic experience. Namely, it lacks air conditioning and might involve you losing a kneecap. The brilliance of a scooter is that it fits in places that cars don't. Scooters cut commute time in half. They also make vehicular homicide something car drivers need to be concerned about.

Back to our car and our traffic. You've found a break in the congestion and things are moving at a decent clip. I know it's hard to stay in your lane when, at any given moment, your lane disappears or is divided into two. Never mind that when you were driving on this street yesterday there only seemed to be two lanes of traffic. Today there are four lanes because that is what is needed. Do what I do and just follow the guy in front of you. Oh, crap. You just missed your turn. Yes, yes you did. The street signs here are perpendicular to the streets, not parallel. I know. It doesn't make any flippin sense but it is how it is and now you need to turn around. Don't fret! See that guy standing over there who looks like he's just randomly hanging out in the middle of about six lanes of traffic? Well, he needs a job and so he's created one for himself and if you just lean out the window and hand him 50 cents, he will single-handedly create an opportunity for you to make a U-turn. Go ahead. It's a very empowering experience.

Now that you've got your blinker figured out and your street located, here you are! Just get yourself parked! Given the number of vehicles in this city, it continues to shock me that parking is never an issue. Either there is a garage or another entrepreneural Jakartan ready to find a spot for you. I've even seen front-row "ladies parking" at one mall. There are no meters. No street cleaning. If someone doesn't want you to park in front of a house or business, they just put a concrete-filled pot in the space. It's a very direct way to communicate the rules.

Congratulations! You just made it to Wednesday's infant play group! This is not a small accomplishment! Seriously, the first time I did it I was left feeling like.."man, anything else I get done today is just icing."