One of the best parts of being an ex-pat parent is watching your child adapt to a new culture. In our case, we have the unique opportunity of witnessing a culture, foreign to us, be his first. For him, it's not foreign at all.
Miles was three months old when we arrived in Jakarta. His first word was ini, which means "this." His first big word was duduk, or "sit". For a while, he ordered everyone and everything to duduk: mom in the kursi (chair), his susu (milk) on the table, the diaper in the sampah (trash). From there, like toddlers everywhere, his vocabulary exploded. It just always exploded in two directions: English and Indonesian.
I don't think he knows he speaks two languages, though he knows that some things have two words. Like bath and mandi. At nap time, he knows it's time for tidur, but he also knows it's time to go to sleep. A car is a car, but it's also a mobil. Some things only have an Indonesian name, like susu or sakit (boo boo) or the word for naughty (nakal), which is his favorite way to describe the dog.
It was not long before he spoke Indonesian better than I could. To be fair, it's a low bar. Still, he routinely engages in conversation with Indonesians and I have to pretend I know what is going on. I usually don't.
There’s another downside. The other day he actually corrected my pronunciation. He was not satisfied with the emphasis I was placing on the “r” in motor. Can you imagine? He only just learned to express himself three words at a time and HE has an opinion on my pronunciation?!
It's hard to know if he's good at language because that's how his brain works, or if he is good at language because he gets an enormous high-five of positive reinforcement every time he opens his mouth. He gets a lot of attention when he speaks Indonesian. Naturally he seeks out bigger smiles, bigger laughs, bigger reactions.
And since culture is much more than a language, he’s more than just a toddler who has a good Indonesian vocabulary. He’s an American who has really only ever known Indonesia. In a lot of ways he’s Indonesian. He says “ow” in Indonesian. I don’t think he even knows the word in English. When he wants you to cuddle next to him during bed time, he asks you in Indonesian. When he says nonsensical things in his sleep, it's in Indonesian.
He's picked up Indonesian mannerisms and tastes too. The other day I saw him put the back of his hand to his forehead after someone tried to shake his hand. That's how a young person shows respect when meeting someone older. We were recently in Australia for a vacation and about four days into the trip he asked us for a krupuk - a salty shrimp cracker that is ubiquitous in Indonesia but hard to find outside of Asia. He loves them.
Recently, he's started speaking in phrases and sentences and he's also learned the word aku, which means "I or me." So he's really empowered now. Some favorites include: aku cuci tangan - I wash hands; aku bisa = I can do it; and the infrequent but always welcome, aku mau tidur - I want to sleep.
Indonesia is not a country of just one language; there are something like 700 languages and dialects here. Since Miles spends a large part of the work week surrounded by Indonesians that are ethnically Javanese, he's picked up all sorts of slang to go along with his Indonesian. He basically talks like a Javanese street child. It's futile for me to try and keep up.
Now we are preparing to move home. Part of that transition will be watching Miles discover a new layer of his identity. And his age will be his best agent – helping him embrace the change and run straight for it. There will be no time for remembering bumps along the way, only time for learning new things. Inevitably, for us, the transition will also mean watching his Indonesian parts slip away. The Miles we know will be eclipsed by a new Miles we are about to meet: it makes our hearts cry a little, but also sing at the idea of discovering a new little boy.
...And we are brining three bags of krupuk home to ease the transition.
Miles was three months old when we arrived in Jakarta. His first word was ini, which means "this." His first big word was duduk, or "sit". For a while, he ordered everyone and everything to duduk: mom in the kursi (chair), his susu (milk) on the table, the diaper in the sampah (trash). From there, like toddlers everywhere, his vocabulary exploded. It just always exploded in two directions: English and Indonesian.
I don't think he knows he speaks two languages, though he knows that some things have two words. Like bath and mandi. At nap time, he knows it's time for tidur, but he also knows it's time to go to sleep. A car is a car, but it's also a mobil. Some things only have an Indonesian name, like susu or sakit (boo boo) or the word for naughty (nakal), which is his favorite way to describe the dog.
It was not long before he spoke Indonesian better than I could. To be fair, it's a low bar. Still, he routinely engages in conversation with Indonesians and I have to pretend I know what is going on. I usually don't.
There’s another downside. The other day he actually corrected my pronunciation. He was not satisfied with the emphasis I was placing on the “r” in motor. Can you imagine? He only just learned to express himself three words at a time and HE has an opinion on my pronunciation?!
It's hard to know if he's good at language because that's how his brain works, or if he is good at language because he gets an enormous high-five of positive reinforcement every time he opens his mouth. He gets a lot of attention when he speaks Indonesian. Naturally he seeks out bigger smiles, bigger laughs, bigger reactions.
And since culture is much more than a language, he’s more than just a toddler who has a good Indonesian vocabulary. He’s an American who has really only ever known Indonesia. In a lot of ways he’s Indonesian. He says “ow” in Indonesian. I don’t think he even knows the word in English. When he wants you to cuddle next to him during bed time, he asks you in Indonesian. When he says nonsensical things in his sleep, it's in Indonesian.
He's picked up Indonesian mannerisms and tastes too. The other day I saw him put the back of his hand to his forehead after someone tried to shake his hand. That's how a young person shows respect when meeting someone older. We were recently in Australia for a vacation and about four days into the trip he asked us for a krupuk - a salty shrimp cracker that is ubiquitous in Indonesia but hard to find outside of Asia. He loves them.
Recently, he's started speaking in phrases and sentences and he's also learned the word aku, which means "I or me." So he's really empowered now. Some favorites include: aku cuci tangan - I wash hands; aku bisa = I can do it; and the infrequent but always welcome, aku mau tidur - I want to sleep.
But the real fun is the extraordinary range of Indo-English that he speaks. Such gems include, aku mau go car = I want to go in the car; aku mau do it = I want to do it; mau watch Elmo = Can I watch Elmo? And, my personal favorite, Aku mau lihat poop = I want to see the poop.
Indonesia is not a country of just one language; there are something like 700 languages and dialects here. Since Miles spends a large part of the work week surrounded by Indonesians that are ethnically Javanese, he's picked up all sorts of slang to go along with his Indonesian. He basically talks like a Javanese street child. It's futile for me to try and keep up.
Now we are preparing to move home. Part of that transition will be watching Miles discover a new layer of his identity. And his age will be his best agent – helping him embrace the change and run straight for it. There will be no time for remembering bumps along the way, only time for learning new things. Inevitably, for us, the transition will also mean watching his Indonesian parts slip away. The Miles we know will be eclipsed by a new Miles we are about to meet: it makes our hearts cry a little, but also sing at the idea of discovering a new little boy.
...And we are brining three bags of krupuk home to ease the transition.
Great write up and hope our paths cross again Sarah
ReplyDeleteLovely writing Sarah!
ReplyDelete