There's a New Sheriff in Town

“G” is for Gun? Really Indonesian playmat-making company?

Actually, this photo is kind of art imitating life. Miles is now fully aware of Stanley and is officially obsessed with him. Stanley has always been fully aware of Miles and now insists on 24-hour security protection.

We don't often get strangers at our house. But when we do, we know it by Stanley's aggressive and wholly obnoxious war cry. Everyone can hear him; very few people actually think to look down to find him.

Stanley has taken to prancing around like he's some kind of secret service agent. The truth, however, is that his guard dog skills are amateur at best. And that's being kind.

For starters, the dog has plenty to say about potential intruders but it's usually on a delay. A stranger can be in our house, sitting on the couch, enjoying a beverage before Stanley realizes it (read: wakes from his sun bathe in the backyard). And then, in an effort to make up for lost time, he goes bezerk, looking around to see if we've noticed that he hasn't been there the whole time. Basically, he’s a cartoon character.

For illustrative purposes, let’s take a look back at some of his finer security moments:

 

 

And finally, this moment: when Stanley demonstrated his idea of guerilla tactics... 

 

So you’ll forgive us if this sudden obligation to protect the family feels a bit out-of-nowhere and wholly late-to-the-game.

Nevertheless, it’s adorable to see Stanley really embrace Miles. This new-found tendency for overreaction reached a zenith recently when four young men came to the door wanting to sell us a new internet service. I didn't get Stanley on lock down fast enough and he came barreling toward the door, determined to guard his baby. Many Indonesians are terrified of dogs, including these poor kids. And that's when things fell apart.

One young man - not bothering to see the source of the commotion - took off down the street. He just booked it as fast as he could away from our house absolutely petrified of … Stanley. Stanley, all 15 pounds of him, took off after him, raising quite a stink. He chased that kid all the way down the block and then trotted home quite pleased with himself.

It was hard to suppress the laughter. Especially watching this poor guy realize how small the dog is and how mercilessly his buddies were dying of laughter. Oh Stanley. Turns out he's a shitty guard dog but he's great at keep solicitors away.